It feels like it was just last Friday that I was packing for Ireland instead of the reality of 2 weeks.  Here I am, procrastinating.  I should be packing for my weekend to Isle of Arran.  Bus leaves at 5.  I should get ready but sitting here typing my thoughts is just so much more appealing. 

Do you ever get the feeling you're getting stupider as you get older?  I'm serious.  Instead of focusing on my life and being Miss Successful, I'm finding more and more and more ways to distract myself.  Maybe I'm a 14 year-old stuck in a growing body?  I just want to play.  If anything I'm just getting older and learning more ways to have fun.  Fun fun fun.  Play play play.  Adventure!  Distractions from work!  yes!  yippie skippie!  hurray!  Sounds like a great life doesn't it?  Until you see that everyone around you are getting promotions, great marks on essays, or becoming strong political figures.  I feel like a giant...butterfly?...that will do.  Butterfly:  floating around, doing it's own thing, landing down every now and then, always moving, beautiful and strong.  Did I actually just compare myself to a butterfly?  I told you I'm getting stupider.  Wait a tic, if I'm getting stupider that means that my 14 year-old mentality should be declining?  Or what if I'm not actually getting stupider but it's the people around me that are growing and becoming smarter.  Yes, that's it.  So I'm at the conclusion that I am the same corky girl as I was in middle school.  That sounds about right.  What does that leave for my future then?  I'm going to be turning gray and still having trouble talking to boys or still confused about the two mounds on my chest, ect.  sigh.  Well, if anything, hopefully I'll find someone that will appreciate my youthful ways and lack of drive to succeed.  Maybe that someone will take me out to the movies and buy me popcorn?  Or enjoy my cooking because God knows if I'll ever be able to cook.  14 years old.  Sounds like a good year.  I'll be okay.  Just whatever you do, don't forget about little old me because I'll still probably be living with my parents when I'm at least 50 until I finally understand this concept of mortgages, oh, and salaries too.